Was it just a FANTASY , DREAM or REALITY?

First of all, I hate the color Pink, but perhaps I may say that I am in a Limbo right now... sort of... not about my sexual orientation for that matter!!! Right. So, I am out of work - Again. Yes. I really cannot make up my freaking mind. Why do I always have to look for something different? Answer? Don't know....
But, something came up during the past few weeks, I keep on meeting people. People of our kind... and it seemed to me that I had been missing a lot of something lately. Maybe coffee with mates and catching up with friends. So I did those, catched up with my Lez Atty. friend who came to visit Cebu and we had Red Horse instead of Coffee... we chatted. And yes I missed a lot of things, knew a lot of stuff while chatting with her. It amazed me how she can see things, look through things and describe things.... one of my favorite is: " Don't keep on asking if you don't want me to lie to you " <<< a big hit! and " When we're younger it is important to be happy than to be right, but as we grow older it is important to be right than to be happy " <<< golden award! I never knew there is a such word as... TRISEXUAL......hehehe.... Try everything... and that's a joke.
Eventually, after hours and hours of chatting, I felt a relief... I realized 3 things... I am truly a Lesbian - no doubt, I am penny less and I am committed with someone. So which one's are fantasy, dream and reality? Is it me a lesbian - Fantasy? No. Or I never dream of being penny less.... or me being committed with someone a reality for me? As I am sitting here in front of my PC doing this blog, I cannot imagine how things in life really works. Or, how it should be, or where it must be. But anyway, there are more important things I have to settle... BILLLLLSSSSSSSS..... Globe lines, PLDT, PO, 5'6, Credit Cards.... you name it, and now not having any job again... well, this is the time we say " A-kuna ma-tata " hehehe.
There are a lot of stuff I want to share here... but I am still focusing on them 1 by 1 because as to my brain cells are in cyber space.
If some of you may ask, how I'm doing lately.... well, not fine. My heart is messed up, life's messed up every thing seem to change.