okay here goes.. every time i look at photographs of cute cute and happy couples together (Lesbians) i suddenly stare at those photographs and my mind starts to wonder. why is it that every time i have a chance to see photographs of such, why do i always feel my stomach aching and having deep breaths!!!
i've been in a good relationship twice too many, most of it were of happy memories...i do have cute happy photographs of my X's too. But looking at other's photographs is different for me. i always want to be in that photograph, i want to experience what they feel.
is that normal? i always ask my self that.
i used to cheat on my ex-girlfirend because of this foolish question. i see another women and take photos of her.. silly ha? then compare them with my girlfriends photos... and i won't stop until i found contentment on any of the photographs taken. i know i was stupid and wrong, so wrong that i lost someone who cared about me so much.
i stopped that habbit for a while now, and glad that i did. but, eventually i still have that stomach aches and deep breaths every time i see photographs, not just a photograph but a photograph of happy lesbian couple. i've been in that road before and i am still now. foolish of me to feel like this. i think that every time i see different photographs of couples, i see different emotional figure of the couple taken, and each emotional figure makes me want to feel it too.... WHAT????? I have lots of emotions... but why want the others?
or maybe, i need to be content... i am content ***thinking*** i need to teach myself to be satisfied.... happy and thankful.
whatever it is, i still do have those stomach aches and deep breaths every time i see happy lesbian couples.... or perhaps i feel happy for them.... maybe or i don't know!
i've been in a good relationship twice too many, most of it were of happy memories...i do have cute happy photographs of my X's too. But looking at other's photographs is different for me. i always want to be in that photograph, i want to experience what they feel.
is that normal? i always ask my self that.
i used to cheat on my ex-girlfirend because of this foolish question. i see another women and take photos of her.. silly ha? then compare them with my girlfriends photos... and i won't stop until i found contentment on any of the photographs taken. i know i was stupid and wrong, so wrong that i lost someone who cared about me so much.
i stopped that habbit for a while now, and glad that i did. but, eventually i still have that stomach aches and deep breaths every time i see photographs, not just a photograph but a photograph of happy lesbian couple. i've been in that road before and i am still now. foolish of me to feel like this. i think that every time i see different photographs of couples, i see different emotional figure of the couple taken, and each emotional figure makes me want to feel it too.... WHAT????? I have lots of emotions... but why want the others?
or maybe, i need to be content... i am content ***thinking*** i need to teach myself to be satisfied.... happy and thankful.
whatever it is, i still do have those stomach aches and deep breaths every time i see happy lesbian couples.... or perhaps i feel happy for them.... maybe or i don't know!
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