Am I a Lesbian, Bi or Gay? For the not so sure...

Ok, ok.... before we start to business, we must remember to not to label ourselves... right? As long as you know that in someway you are somehow attracted to women. Might be because you just want to explore, you like the curves, you like to get down with one or simply you just dont know why.

Here's the catch... women of today think that it is hip if you were or are involved with a woman... some thinks it's a walking medal... NO! You get confused of what you really are because of 2 reasons: 1. people around you 2. what people are telling you.

Can you answer this now? Are you Lesbian? Gay or Bi? mmm for first timers, you can't just now right? I thought so too... but that's ok.... BUT the not so ok part is when you get involved with someone of the same sex and realized that it was a puking experience... then we have problems here... first, you just hurt her feelings, second, it was very rude to be experimenting. Knowing yourself doesn't really have to use someone... when I said about "u wouldnt know until u try some" meant that ''look at all the different colors, and tell me which one u like before tasting it"

Ok, for those who has this ''problem'' about themselves... try to read my older posts about coming out... exploring yourself and a lot more. then let me know. I'll keep in touch with you... though I've been out for a while......

Anyway, I will be sharing some pictures here about my latest agendas... at least some candid too to laugh about =)

Take care... love you. Keep reading.

Flirt Using Reading Body Language

You see someone from across the room and think: Wow. I want to meet them. But how can you be sure that your body language conveys your true intentions - to flirt?
These body language cues are excellent ways to show the object of your interest that you'd like to get to know them better. And if someone uses these cues on you? Flirt right back -- because flirting is harmless, and practice makes perfect.
Flirt Using Your Eyes
Holding eye contact with someone you find appealing for approximately five seconds is well-used flirt tactic, mostly because it is highly effective, although its ease and simplicity of use doesn't hurt. - need to lock eyes three times before the flirt recipient catches on.

Preening To Flirt
There are many, many ways one groom themselves in public in a flattering yet flirty way, depending on your gender. Ladies can try some hair stroking, posture enhancing, neck exposing, hip tilting (if standing), clothes straightening or lip licking - all with the intention of calling attention to her attractiveness. Men can also straighten their clothing, lick their lips or fix their hair, but they should also include things like hooking their fingers into their pants (if standing), suck in their stomach, or take deep breaths to increase the size of their chest. For both men and women, try to use preening body language that shows off your best features while enhancing what makes you, you.

Flirt With a Smile
There are few things better than receiving a genuine, radiant smile from a stranger, yet many people don't respond to them as a flirt tactic. Therefore, use your smile in conjunction with the other body language ideas listed in this article to ensure whomever you've got your eye on realizes a flirt is your intention.

Flirt By Pointing
No, not by using your finger silly. Instead, try to 'point' at the person you want to flirt with by moving your body towards them. Take your feet and make sure they are facing your flirt target, and use your shoulders to lean into them - even if you aren't speaking with them. Other ideas include facing your shoulders towards them or 'closing off' a space just for the two of you (such as crossing your legs towards each other).

Using Touch To Flirt
Look for opportunities where you can touch the person you want to flirt with, either 'accidentally' or otherwise. Shaking hands is an excellent flirt tactic, because not only does it place your hands together (which conveys a "higher level of intimacy" according to Alan and Barbara Pease), but it is easy way to combine flirting with an introduction. You could also try carefully and casually placing your hands on the person's arms to very gently 'move' them so you can pass by on your way to the bathroom, or lightly tap their arm while sharing a laugh. And if you aren't quite comfortable touching the person you want to flirt with quite yet, you can try mimicking their movements for a short period of time (i.e. a couple of seconds), instead.

Meet My Friends

Friends... they play a very important role in my life-next to my family.

I just want to share this funny thing that happened to me here in my blog, somebody actually posted in my cbox saying that: "ey ms. chona, i wanna see your friend" I really don't know who she or he was and the reason why. But of course I am person that is easy to ask favor with...

Unfortunately, I deleted that message because there was something after that favor... sorry mate, who ever you were. And to answer your 2nd question, yes I am a Lesbian and am not interested to have a relationship with men. But to have straight people as my pals... Of course, why not.

So here goes.... me and my friends who always cuddles with alcoholism....

LOVE YOU ALL...... friends and readers!!!

Etiquette for Lesbians Flirting over Text Messaging

Text messaging is a great way to get in contact with someone you have just met, want to know better, are interested in dating or for flirting. So, you've met someone and you've got her cell phone number and you want to send her a text, how should you go about it? Here are some tips and Etiquette for text messaging.
Ask First.
When you get her number, ask if it's okay to text. Some people don't have plans that include lots of text messages. You don't want to run her cell phone bill up. Also, some people don't like to text message.
Keep it short.
Most cell phone plans allow for up to 160 characters. If you've got something longer to say, either call her or send an email.
Start simple.
Send a message and see how she responds. Start simple and innocent. Just sending a message will let her know you're somewhat interested. No need to get too flirty too fast. Use her response to gauge what you do next.
Use Discretion.
Don't get too sexual over text message if you know she's at work, at her parents or some other place where hearing such a comment would be inappropriate.
Don't Drink and Text.
One sure way to say something you regret later is to send an impulsive text when you're tipsy. Refrain from texting if you're drinking.
Keep an Eye on the Clock.
Just because you're a night owl, doesn't mean she is. Don't send a text message at an hour when you wouldn't call her. If her phone is on, it will probably wake her up.
Keep it fun and Flirty.
Don't say anything over text that you wouldn't tell her in person. But do have fun, be playful and try to elicit a laugh.
Don't Diss Your Friends.
You may be really into this girl, but don't have a long conversation with her while you're visiting with your friends or family. Let her know you're happy to hear from her, but that you're busy and will get back to her later.
Nothing Serious.
Don't break up with her over text message, have a fight over text or discuss any serious issue. That should be done face-to-face.
Make Dates.
Text messaging can be fun, but it can't replace real live encounters. Use texting to make a date to actually see each other in person.
Give her time to reply.
You may have the fastest fingers in the West, but some people aren't that adept at text messaging. She may be waiting to respond to you after she gets off work, when she has time to think about what she wants to say or after she checks in with her best friend to help her remember which person she gave her number to that night you are.
Don't Over Do it.
Don't send her thousands of texts if she doesn't respond. That's like leaving someone ten voice mails. It sounds stalkerish or desperate, neither of which you want to be if you're trying to impress someone.
Save the Special for Face-to-Face.
Don't tell her you love her for the first time over a text. Don't ask her to marry you or move in over a text. Anything serious should be done in person.

AND MOST OF ALL... ENJOY AYT!

COMING OUT TO PARENTS

Before you come out to your parents, there are a few things you should think about. The first is, imagine the worst-case scenario. You may think your parents will be fine with this information, but what if they aren’t? The truth is, most parents do not react badly, but you might want to think about these things, just in case.
If you live with your parents and they decide to kick you out, do you have a place to go? Have a back-up plan. Line up a friend to stay with, in case you need it.
Are you financially dependent on your family? Are you relying on them to pay for your college? No one wants to believe that her parents will cut off their college funding for coming out as lesbian, but it has happened. If you think your parents might be the type, you might want to consider waiting until you are no longer financially dependent upon them.
Next ask yourself why you want to let your parents know? Is it because you want to let them know about an important part of yourself? Good. But if your answer is, “I think it’s time they deal with their homophobic feelings,” you might want to really consider what that means and what it might do to your relationship. Although it may seem tempting, do not come out during an argument or when you feel angry. Those feelings will outweigh the message you are trying to deliver and may make it harder for your parents to accept the news.
Consider telling another family member before you come out to your parents. An aunt, cousin or sibling can be an ally for you if your parents freak out.

Pick a Good Time
Try to schedule a chunk of uninterrupted time with your parent(s). It is usually better not to do this around some big family function, like Thanksgiving or the Winter Holidays. There is usually a lot of stress around these times of year already. However, if this is the only practical time, try to do it on a day that is less hectic.
I would recommend coming out in person, rather than over the phone or in a letter or email. There’s no replacing the face-to-face contact.
If you’re seeing someone, don’t bring her along. Although you may want her support, it will probably be easier for your parents if it’s just you. There’ll be plenty of time for introductions later. Or if your parents have already met your sweetheart and she’s dazzled them, you can let them know that she is your special one.

How do I know if I'm a Lesbian?

How do I know if I’m a lesbian or not? Lesbians are women who are attracted to other women. This can be a physical attraction, emotional attraction or sexual attraction. If you’re a woman attracted to women, you might be a lesbian. Or you might be bisexual or you might simply be a straight women who is attracted to a friend. It may take you some time to determine which one you are.
Some women claim to have known from a very early age that they were lesbian, or at least knew that there was something “different” about themselves. Others don’t come out until their forties, fifties and even later, after having spent years in a heterosexual marriage. Whatever your situation, what is most important is that you’re taking the time now to try and figure it out and get to know yourself better.

"I think I’m a lesbian, but I’ve never had sex with a girl."
That’s okay. Most straight people know that they are attracted to the opposite sex before they ever actually have sex. There’s no need to rush to have sex to “find out” if you’re a lesbian or not. Do what feels natural to you.

RESPECT

"COMING OUT" Part

I grew up abroad which made me as open minded as I can be, but though, it was not really easy for me to come out from my closet and say " mom-dad... I think I am a lesbian". (my life story posted in the older post)

So I deeply feel about people who are hiding right now. I know society holds your "Being you" part of it. I know and I am aware that here in CEBU it is not that openly accepted, "the g to g" relationship. But what I say about it????? I don't give a damn!!! See, what is the worst thing a parent can do once they know their daughter is a Lesbian? - get mad, scream, cry, disappointed, unhappy...... BUT they can NEVER hate you. And those (PARENTS) are the people you should be more concern of about being a lesbian. They will still love and not hate you, eventually they will accept it - Believe me. Friends??? friends can always blah-blah in that instant, but will forget what they blah-blah about you and still be your friend - some might be in a distance for a while, but try to throw a huge party, I guarantee you they will be there!!!!

So, coming out is not as easy as we can all just say it - I know. Try to slowly act on. Try to be yourself. Don't imitate others-like Shane from LWord... by the way I love that series... But what I mean is that, Be yourself. Wear what ever that can hold your body together. Remember, you will never know how it is until you try-right? How would you know that an ice cream is sweet if you'll never taste it? So how will you know if that is really YOU that you're feeling unless if you grab some woman and taste.... "i kissed a girl and i like it" familiar? yup.

But of course, please do not do this shit if you are just fuckin' wasted or curious and start blaming yourself of what you just did that you cant even remember - for straight people who are curious, please remember... Lesbians do have feelings too. We are as human as anyone can be.

Now, I shall take a bow and exit stage right. All I can say is that: "lets throw a WOMAN'S party only" hahahaha. that sounded so good! Take care and keep reading!

As Requested...

Ok, there are a few people who knows me as their cyber friend in this blog. They ask me where I am , what I am, my love life and so on... to those who wish to know my Coming Out story and how I became one, you can go to my older post (just click older post) there you will have an idea of my story and who I am. But for a bonus.... here's some quick intro :) But thank you all for those who visited my blog. Let's support 3rd community, they are as human as others.

Personal Data:

Name:Chona Lou T. Gamboa

BDay: September 25, 1980

Zodiac: Libra

Current add: 587 Gen. Luna St. Poblacion, Talisay Cebu

Grew up in: Bahrain and Canada

Languages spoken: Arabic, French, English, Tagalog and Cebuano

Present job: Communications Trainer

Work exp: ESL Manager, Logistics, Med Sec., CSR HR and FO

Course: AB Fine Art Major in Advertising

Schools: Gulf Academy, St. Christopher, Sacred Heart and CIC in Cebu

Marital status: Annulled, right after giving birth to my son as a gift for my parents

Family: Mom, Dad and brother in Canada

Relationships: 2 men. 1 was my ex husband, 1 was a fling in HS and 12 women

Love life: In a relationship. Currently for 4 years, but it's shaky (2010)

Friends: 90% from 3rd community

Music: Orchestral rock, rock, jazz and alternative

Colors: Black, violet and blue

Attracted to: Butch, soft-butch, gays and sometimes femmes.

Sports played: Tennis and billiards

Hobbies: DVD marathon, getting a tattoo and chillin with friends

Drinks: Jack Daniels, RH and Gatorade

Past time: Blogging

Proud of: 1 son, tattoos, piercing, car and friends

About me: Very friendly but very frank. Most of the time my being honest kills people offs feelings. I am a murderer of feelings. But always there to help if needed. NEVER LOOKS DOWN ON ANYBODY.

It's not only us...

With so few lesbians or bisexuals out in Hollywood or in the public eye, Angelina Jolie has been embraced by the lesbian and bisexual community. She speaks openly and honestly about her feelings for women. Despite the fears that would keep some celebrities in the closet, Angelina Jolie continues to win big awards and big movie roles.
Angelina Jolie Lesbian Quotes:
Jane magazine readers voted Angelina Jolie as the female actor who makes their knees weak. To which Jolie responded, "They're right to think that about me, because I'm the person most likely to sleep with my female fans. I genuinely love other women. And I think they know that."
About Lara Croft Jolie said, "Can you imagine Lara Croft as a lesbian?...At the end of the day, I really like women. I'd love it if the girls in the cinema watching Lara Croft find me just as hot as their boyfriends do."
In an interview with Elle magazine, Angelina Jolie said, "Honestly, I like everything. Boyish girls, girlish boys, the heavy and the skinny. Which is a problem when I'm walking down the street."
"When I was 20, i fell in love with somebody who happened to be a woman."
"I was open about it (bisexuality) because I wanted people to know that I had been with a woman. i spoke about it because I'd discovered something wonderful and I thought people should know my experience was very real, very normal."
When Barbra Walters asked her if she was bisexual, Jolie responded, "Of course. If I fell in love with a woman tomorrow, would I feel that it's okay to want to kiss and touch her? If I fell in love with her? Absolutely! Yes!"
"I love women and men equally and I see people and love as love, so I think it makes sense that a woman would know I'd appreciate and love her as much as I would a man."

Drew's relationships with men have been public, but her bisexuality was kept hidden for some time. Finally in 2003 Barrymore admitted she is bisexual.

Drew Barrymore more loves the Ladies:
Drew says she's had numerous affairs with women and will continue to do so. "Do I like women sexually? Yes, I do. Totally," she admits. US magazine reported in 2007 Jane Pratt, the former editor of Jane magazine says she and Drew Barrymore had sex. Although she didn't elaborate or say when this happened, Drew Barrymore was on the cover of Jane in 1997.
Women are Beautiful:
Drew says, "I think a woman and a woman together are beautiful, just as a man and a woman together are beautiful."

FLIRTING TIPS for us LES

How does a woman flirt with another woman? That can be tricky, especially if you do not know the sexual orientation of the object of your flirt.
There's nothing like having someone flirt with you to boost your self-esteem. Whether or not you return the attraction, it feels good to know that someone finds you attractive. Flirting is an art. It's a two-way game. You have to be able to read your partner's interest and comfort in the flirtation in order to know how to proceed.
But, if done properly, there is nothing better or more exciting than letting the electricity grow between you two in the beginning stages of a relationship. Flirting can be subtle or overt. I prefer the subtle kind.

Here's some tips for flirting:
1.) When you're out together, try to sit near her. Notice if she moves closer or farther away. When you're sitting on a couch and your thighs touch, what does she do? Does she let it stay or inch away?
2.)Look her in the eye when you are talking. Hold the stare for a little longer than you would a normal conversation. It may sound corny, but open a door for her to walk through.
If you're sitting across from each other, gently put your hand on hers. Don't move it away unless she does.
3.)Tell her she looks nice tonight. Compliment her hair or outfit. Find out what makes her laugh. There's nothing like humor to cut the tension and loosen you both up. Offer to get her a drink if you're at a party or bar together.
4.)Touch her hand or shoulder when you hand her a drink. Tell her you've been thinking about her.
5.)Call her just to say hi and see what's she's been doing.
6.)Send her a little note that says you enjoyed spending time together. An email is okay, hand written and dropped at her door or mailed is better.

7.)Be careful not to over do it. You don't want to seem like a stalker. Look for signs that your flirtation is unwanted. Does she get off the phone quickly when you call? Do you send her long flowery e-mails, only to get one line answers in return? If so, back off and let her come to you.
Good luck and most of all, have fun!

FIRST TIME, Lesbian Sex Tips

First Time Lesbian Sex
Tips for your first lesbian sexual experience
There’s a lot wrapped up in your first time lesbian sexual experience. Whether it’s your first time having sex at all, or your first time having sex with another woman, being nervous is normal. There’s so much cultural hype about “your first time” and “losing your virginity.” One thing is true, you never do forget your first time. Here’s some tips to get you through your first time lesbian sexual experience.
1. Get to know your own body. Before you can even think about turning someone else on, it’s good to know what excites you. Yes, I’m talking about masturbation. Spend some time one-on-one with yourself. As you touch yourself and find the places that feel good, you’ll know where to touch her. And more importantly, how to tell her what turns you on.
2. Go sober. You want to remember your first lesbian sex. Sometimes alcohol or drugs can lower your inhibitions and make the first move easier, but you’re not as likely to do or say something regrettable if you’re sober.
3. Go Safe. Yes, lesbians need to worry about sexually transmitted diseases including HIV and AIDS. Read up on lesbian safer sex and be prepared to bring the topic up with your partner. Unfortunately, safe sex is still not talked about very often in the lesbian community.
4. Fantasize. It all begins with fantasy. If you’re ready to sleep with another woman, you must have thought about it. What are those thoughts? Does she throw you down on the bed and have her way with you? Or do you go skinny dipping in your backyard pool? There’s a saying, you must imagine it before you can do it.
5. Leave the toys in the drawer. There will be plenty of time to learn about and play with sex toys. Let your first time be simple flesh-on-flesh love.
6. Relax. Take your time. Touch her all over. Don’t got straight for her crotch. Undress her slowly, appreciating every newly exposed piece of flesh. Kiss her elbows. Touch her breasts. Blow softly in her ear. Kiss her neck. Caress her belly, her inner thighs. Kiss behind her knees. Smell under her arms. Massage her buttocks. Slowly suck on her fingers. Get naked and lay your body on top of hers. There’s so much erotic fun you can have before you ever even touch her pubic area. Enjoy.
7. Communicate. Ask her what she wants. Ask her if what you’re doing feels good. Tell her where you want to be touched. Communication is key to any good sexual relationship. If she’s doing something you like, moan or purr to let her know that feels good.
8. Have realistic expectations. Your first time with a lover should be about getting to know her body, getting to know how to turn her on and learning what your chemistry is. Orgasm may or may not happen the first time. That’s okay. The point is to get physical, get close, express your feelings of love or desire.

IDENTITY PROBLEM?

Alright, we have to give some benefit of the doubts to those who are a bit worried about their identity... I was once too you know. ( Check my older blogs; click on old posts " im totally out of my closet")

You might say " oh no, I am straight" but some how manage to have urges with the same sex. You simply start by admiring them, then wanting to see them, then having some fantasy over that person... it's simply very Human.

Look, you have to dig deeper into yourself. The more you hide what you really feel like doing or liking - well that won't help. That is why I say " you'll never know until you try one".

Definitely nothing wrong for feeling different, hey... it's 2008 who cares what you feel. Being ashamed of your identity will pull you down, that's for sure. You'll never be happy.

I really could not give signs if you're straight or not... these depends on the individuality of a person based from their experiences and what they really feel. Admiring the same sex does not mean though that you are Les or Gay... like I said, it's all so Human.

But when you are active with your desire to be with that person, then you have to be sure of yourself. There are also times that you might be attracted because you are curious!!!! If you really want to know WHO and WHAT you are... better try. You have nothing to lose. This way you will definitely know what you really want and like. And your problem is solved.

This is really normal to have identity problem. We all do at times. It's just how you put yourself to prospectives. Believe me I know.

9 signs of depression

Depression becomes an illness when common feelings related to personal failure or loss are severe and interfere with one’s work or social life. Feelings can include worthlessness and self-blame, sadness, disappointment and emptiness.
Of the 9 signs of depression (see inset), a person usually must have 4 to 5 of them, with at least one of the first 2 to be diagnosed with depression.

According to the Canadian Mental Health Association, depression is one of the most common mental health disorders . 7.9-8.6% of adults will have major depression during their lifetime in Canada (Health Canada). In 2003 alone there were over 11.6 million visits to doctors across Canada concerning depression.

IM SORRY

Been troubled lately... Anger was in my heart... these are one of the reasons why I wasn't able to blog for such a long time...

But, now I'm fine with more interesting journals to share, experiences unexpected and peoples thoughts... Got new Lesbian friends too that you might be interested of.... :)

Got a job too, but now I've grown and stepped forward to my stepping stone.

New stories to tell you behind a Lesbians life...REALITY. been talking to people lately...

So please hang on for a little more.... love you all.